Monday, January 17, 2005

Negotiation and Marriage

Last night I went to dinner and a play (Jesus Christ Superstar) with some friends. It's nice to get out and just chat about all sorts of inconsequential personal things instead of household business and work business. R made the mistake (though she insisted it was deliberate) of getting me going on various political rants.

But it's times like these that I feel very much abnormal. For one, R's house is so much nicer and cleaner than mine. It's not just that she is childless and able to keep it clean. It's that she actively keeps it clean, pulling out the spray bottle and wiping down the table after dinner. I just don't think to do those sorts of things.

Another strange thing that other people do that I don't is watch television in the bedroom. My husband outright refuses to have a television in the bedroom because he says it will keep him from sleeping well. I don't think it would give me a problem, and I confess that I hear about other people lying in bed and watching tv and I'm a bit envious. In fact, I kind of like to sleep in hotels because there is by default a tv in the room. It just seems so decadent to me.

But I suppose this is one of the many compromises we make in marriages. For my husband, a television in the bedroom is a dealbreaker, a point on which he will not negotiate. And I suppose it does give us ammunition when the children eventually ask for televisions in their rooms (which I would prefer not to allow).

Had I any readership at this point :), I'd ask other people here to talk about what are the non-negotiables in their marriages.

No comments: